The Lie I Told Myself For Years

I want to say something uncomfortable.

For a long time, when I hit a wall in session, my first move was to go buy more training.

Another modality. Another certification. Another weekend intensive that would finally give me the missing piece. And some of those trainings were genuinely valuable. I don't regret them.

But I'll be honest about what was really happening.

A lot of it was avoidance.

Because buying training feels like doing something. It feels like forward movement. You come home with a manual, a certificate, a new set of interventions.

On the other hand, looking at yourself is murkier. It doesn't come with a certificate. And it requires admitting that what's slowing you down in session might not be a skills gap at all... it might be something you're carrying that you haven't looked at yet.

There's a part of you that she’s avoiding in her own life. And she needs to look at that part in order to help her client go deeper.

I wrote that sentence about a client once. Then I realized I'd written it about myself.

The therapists I watch make the biggest leaps... it was never a new modality that did it. It was the moment they got honest about what they were circling.

It’s worth sitting with.

I’d love to support you as you strive to get deeper. When you're ready: book a call with me here

Warmly,

Esther