What The Leak Costs You
There’s something I don't see talked about enough...
When clinical confidence goes, it doesn't stay in the office.
The therapist who's quietly drowning in session self-doubt starts reading more at night. More articles, more theory, more anything that feels like it might plug the gap. They're physically present in their life... doing bedtime, making dinner, sitting with their partner... but something's diverted. There's a leak and they keep trying to fill it with information.
Fees don't go up. Even when they should. Even after eight years of doing extraordinary work. Because asking for more requires a groundedness that erodes when you're second-guessing yourself every session.
Referrals start going elsewhere. Not dramatically. Quietly. The complex cases, the ones that require a clinician who can hold steady in the hardest moments... those find someone else.
And the kids feel it. Not the details, they don't know the details. But they feel whether you're actually there or “just present”.
I've lived some version of this. I've watched therapists I deeply respect live it.
The reading doesn't fix the leak. Another training usually won't either, not on its own.
What fixed it for me was someone who would look at me honestly, challenge me without crushing me, and not let me hide from what I was avoiding.
That's the container I try to be for the clinicians I work with. If this resonates with you and you’re looking for deeper support, someone to gently push you to grow in a supportive environment, the Trauma Mastery program may be of interest to you. I’m here to help you learn more.
Warmly,
Esther