The Moment I Realized I Was Doing Too Much

Can I tell you something I still have to watch for?

When I care deeply about a client...I sometimes want the movement more than they do.

I want them to speak up.
To finally set the boundary.
To receive the love.
To ask for help.
To leave the relationship.
To trust themselves.

And without realizing it...
I can become so committed to the outcome...
That I accidentally start doing the work their nervous system hasn't yet learned to do.

That realization changed me.

Because I don't think our job is to complete our clients' movements for them.
I think our job is to create the conditions where those movements become possible.

That's a very different kind of therapy.
It's slower.
It asks more of us.
It requires us to tolerate uncertainty.
To trust timing.

To stop confusing urgency with readiness.
If you've watched the replay, go back to the section where we talk about priming the nervous system before inviting a movement.

This time...Don't think about your client.

Think about yourself.

Where have you been trying to pull a client toward something.....instead of helping their nervous system become ready for it?

I don't ask that with judgment. I ask it because I've been there. And I think many of us have.

Maybe that's one of the quietest shifts that happens as we grow.
We stop measuring ourselves by how quickly a client changes...

And start measuring ourselves by how skillfully we create the conditions for change.
To me...That's where mastery begins.

Love,

Esther

P.S. Sometimes the breakthrough isn't a different intervention.

It's seeing what the nervous system has been asking for before the movement ever begins.

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