She said it was her dad. But her body remembered someone else.
The client came in because her marriage was suffering.
Every time her husband walked away during conflict—even just to take a breather—she’d spiral.
Panic. Disconnection. Sometimes, she’d go completely numb.
What she named in the intake?
Fear of abandonment.
Her therapist (let’s call her Kira) was working through it inside session.
They identified a target memory: her father’s cold detachment.
His emotional absence. His disapproving stares. The way he would shut down and walk out of the room when she cried as a child.
The plan made sense.
This was the imprint.
Classic trauma focused therapy protocol.
But during resourcing—just before going into the memory—her client paused.
And then, her breath caught.
Tears welled in her eyes.
And she whispered:
"I don’t think it’s about my dad. I mean… I already knew I couldn’t count on him. It’s about Jake."
Jake. Her college boyfriend.
The one who became her fiancé.
The one she trusted with her full heart.
And the one who left—without a word.
No explanation. Just vanished.
That was where the real collapse lived.
That was the moment her nervous system gave up on trust.
Kira brought the session into our live consult pod inside the Integrative Trauma Training Certificate Program—a space where therapy for the therapist includes real-time expert support.
She asked:
“Did I miss something? I thought the dad memory was the root…”
I told her: No.
You didn’t miss anything. You followed what was present.
And the system offered more.
This is what our trauma focused therapy training gives you:
The clarity to pivot when the body leads.
The skill to track the nervous system’s wisdom.
The confidence to know you’re still on target—even when the story shifts.
Together, we unpacked how to stay with the younger part—19 years old, alone in her dorm room, unable to eat or breathe when Jake disappeared.
And how that unprocessed attachment wound had been quietly running the show for years—triggering reactivity in her marriage that had nothing to do with her husband.
Now, with the right target activated, something shifted.
Her client began to soften.
To cry in front of her husband without fear.
To say, “I know this panic is old, but I still feel it—can you just sit with me?”
This is what our trauma training & consultation program is about.
It’s almost like “therapy for the therapist”—so you don’t have to sit in sessions wondering,
“Do I stay here? Or shift?
Is this dissociation—or a doorway?”
You learn to know.
You learn to trust.
And you’re never alone in the work.